Loss is a feeling in my body
It is a literal hole in the heart
A black vacuum where that person used to be
And the size of the hole is in direct proportion to how prominent a role that person played
Were they the occasional postman? Or the co-star of the show?
Over time those edges rub off and the pain is less immediate
And sun is a larger part of one’s existence
Little by little those holes fill in, layer by layer
the love and compassion and companionship build up.
We have new inside jokes, and people exist who only know your memory
We have new traditions and life is in many ways unrecognizable
We carry on, ever-mending holes in foundation and façade
Slowly straightening, sitting up tall, taking the high road
Constantly stretching and tightening, occasionally destroyed and rebuilding
Both you and I, sharing the same spaces, generations apart, but still my other half
Heartstrings stretch but never break
Despite the growing silence between us
I see your echoes and I hear your song
You would say ‘Live! Thrive!
It is supposed to be this way’
I see you smiling at me across lifetimes
Mothers and daughters, finding and losing ourselves, swinging together and apart