Loss is a feeling in my body

It is a literal hole in the heart

A black vacuum where that person used to be

And the size of the hole is in direct proportion to how prominent a role that person played

Were they the occasional postman? Or the co-star of the show?

 

Over time those edges rub off and the pain is less immediate

And sun is a larger part of one’s existence

Little by little those holes fill in, layer by layer

the love and compassion and companionship build up.

We have new inside jokes, and people exist who only know your memory

We have new traditions and life is in many ways unrecognizable

 

We carry on, ever-mending holes in foundation and façade

Slowly straightening, sitting up tall, taking the high road

Constantly stretching and tightening, occasionally destroyed and rebuilding

Both you and I, sharing the same spaces, generations apart, but still my other half

 

Heartstrings stretch but never break

Despite the growing silence between us

I see your echoes and I hear your song

 

You would say ‘Live! Thrive!

It is supposed to be this way’

I see you smiling at me across lifetimes

Mothers and daughters, finding and losing ourselves, swinging together and apart